I’ve grown so accustom to
Looking in from the outside
At all you
Seemingly finding enjoyment in
What I see as mundane tasks
Carrying on quite happily
Without ever stopping to ask
A question
Or to question me
For choosing this point of view
You may not even see me
Or notice I’m looking at you
But I stand at a distance
You become
Material for my jokes
And that way I stay protected
Bully’s bully
So they’re not approached
But really I’m scared
That if I join in
I might not fit in to your world
On the outside I act strong
But inside I know I’m a girl
Who’s scared to be in the middle
Who’d prefer live in extremes
To be filled with genuine laughter
Or cry so hard I can’t see
I don’t want to be in the middle
I loathe mediocrity
I don’t want so-so or okay
I hate apathy
But I feel that’s where most people reside
And seem to find comfort there
They don’t get as high or low
Maybe they just don’t care
As much about how they’re received
I always want to please
I’m rarely in the moment
Cause I analyze everything
But I’m scared to be in the middle
I prefer to live in extremes
To be filled with genuine laughter
Or cry so hard I can’t see
I don’t want to be in the middle
I loathe mediocrity
I don’t want so-so or okay
I hate apathy
So for now I’ll stay on the outside
Since I’ve grown accustom to
Observing from a removed perspective
What other people do
But maybe later in my life
I’ll find that I want to
Hang out in the middle
I might change my point of view