I’ve exhausted all other options
Each failed attempt
Proving
What I always knew
The stories that I’ve told
Making light of my struggles
Were just an attempt to merge
The lies with the truth
So I didn’t feel as guilty
Or alone as I do
And it feels like such a relief
To finally accept it
To know that I have to abstain
To know that I won’t have to
Choose anymore
And have that weigh on my brain
But I’m scared to tell people I know
I worry about how they’ll react
If they’ll be supportive
Or even believe me
And how honestly should I respond
To the questions they ask?
I’m scared to be judged
Or that people will talk
I don’t want to worry my Dad
And my Mom
I want them to still be proud
Of the person that I am
Not feel they have to make excuses
For people to understand
How this slipped through their hands
I was pretty good at hiding
And it wasn’t every day
I took so many positive steps forward
It was easy to look the other way
I floated around between social groups
And for years I’ve lived alone
There was nobody there
To monitor me
To see what was going on
And I’m scared to go to parties sober
And how my life will change
I’m scared that people will think I’m boring
And that close friendships will drift away
I’m scared of going on sober dates
And of having to have this talk
But more than anything else
I’m scared of what will happen
If I don’t stop