Hello my name is Sarah
And I’m grateful to have your attention
But I’m certain
That when these words end
I’ll be left wanting more
I’m thirty-four
And I’m just now seeing
And understanding
This disease they call alcoholism
I just call it addiction
No need for discrimination
Give me something
And the chances are
Pretty likely
That I’ll want more
Yes I’m a pleasure-seeking detective
Always on the hunt
For something new
To hook my interest
And begin obsessing on
Music
Food
Drugs
Booze
I don’t really care
So long as it feels good
And takes me far away from here
I’ll toy with the idea of moderation
But fairly quickly it’s dismissed
As I’m sucked into the vortex
Of over-indulgence
And secrets
Always planning the next time
I’ll get my fix
Afraid there won’t be enough
I’ll turn on the charm
Or become vengeful
To make sure I get what I want
Sounds like a lovely person, right?
Well that might be the craziest part
Most people seem to like me
It’s liking myself
That’s always been hard
But being able to get all of this out
And be completely honest
Feels like my cure
I hate to admit it
But the cynic is quitting
I’m taking suggestions
Because it fucking works
More meetings
More service
More step work
More purpose
It’s making me high like before
My heart pounds out of my chest
Now with feeling
I’m free from my thinking
I’m becoming one of those annoying optimists
That I used to avoid
But the disease stays with me
Always
Like a dormant beast
Reminding me who’s in control
And the second that I lose connection
With myself and God
I want more